In this HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series episode, Part 2 of a 2 part episode (with a final third part follow-up show), is, “How do I respond to direct, brutal, verbal insults and intimidation at work?” We explore the Mental Self-Defense Arts™ and learn what to do when we are emotionally and psychologically attacked at work.
As shared in Part 1 of this episode, I gave a speech several years ago and an angry lady in the audience told me at the end of the event (as everyone was leaving) that I “was ugly” and that my “face was distracting.” Nice. Was that direct? Yes. Was it verbal? Yes. Would some characterize it as “brutal”, “insulting” and/ or “intimidating”? Yes. Some people want to immediately start assessing “why” the person did what they did. If I had told myself in the morning that I looked “great” and was told right after that by another person that I was “ugly”; what is the truth? What was I wearing? Did I look uglier than normal that day? These are all examples of blaming the victim and more importantly they are a total waste of time and resources. In Part 1 of this multi-part episode we addressed the issue that some people are predators and their motivate is to inflict pain on other people. They do exist but they are very rare. In some instances when we perceive that we have been “attacked” it really is simply a misunderstanding, personality conflict or other normal event in the range of human behavior. In Part 2 of this episode we address how a predator selects a victim and what type of situational awareness we need to maintain in the workplace. In the final [...] In this HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared with me. In this episode, which is Part 1 of a 3 part episode, our show title is, “How do I respond to direct, brutal, verbal insults and intimidation at work?”
In this multi-part episode we explore the Mental Self-Defense Arts™ and learn what to do when we are emotionally and psychologically attacked at work. The self-defense skills that we employ in these situations are analogous to those in a physical attack. We are going to do everything that we can to be on heightened alert and remain awareness of surroundings and situations to thwart or prevent a potential attack. Remember that predatory attackers are always looking for potential victims and they select their targets based on proximity, opportunity and also their assessment of the likelihood of success. Once that prevention process has been breached, then we will move toward the actual skills we need to survive. We have to use our [...] In this HELP! SITUATION SPOTLIGHT™ series, we shine the light on challenges that community members have shared with me. These are specific issues that they are grappling with in order to surpass their goals. Our episode title is, “I feel like I will never be successful. What can I do?”
What is “success” and how is it measured? How do we know if we have it, we are deluding ourselves into thinking that we have it, or if we are unable (or incapable) of having it? If we have it, how do we hold onto it? Or, is it fleeting like a breeze and it may envelop us for a few moments, hours, or days and then float away beyond our control? My argument is that if we are internally feeling good (by ourselves, with no feedback or input for any other people), we have attained “success.” If I look in the mirror while getting ready for work and I think to myself, “You look great!”; isn’t that “success”? Why is it that some people would have a good feeling (internally) and then go out into the world and encounter others that would change their definition of “success” and of themselves? Even famous and wealthy people are not always content (which is an ingredient for my personal definition of success) so those aspects are not sufficient to define “success.” If I am unhappy, broke, stressed out, etc., how am I “successful”? Just because other people think I am “successful” does not mean that I actually am. We are not going to “find success” via [...] This episode is part of our JOYFUL ART OF BUSINESS™ series wherein we explore how to combine the positive benefits of our professional endeavors (“business”) with the overall positive emotional return on our efforts (“joy”). The act of engaging in professional endeavors, in any capacity (i.e., as an employee, employer, entrepreneur, contractor, volunteer, paid, full time, part time, intermittently, etc.) is an expression of our ideas and creative talents (“art”). In this episode we are exploring the specific topic of , “BE OF SERVICE. In work (paid and volunteer). In life (with those you love and who love you, including yourself.)”
This show explores the concept of refocusing our thoughts (which average around 70,000 per day) away from the internal spotlight on ourselves and outward towards others. We are of service anytime we give anything (including, time, compassion, attention, financial resources, etc.). The challenge is to prioritize being of service, giving, with the acts of getting (what we need and some of what we want). Simply sharing with another person a [...] |
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